The Criminal Records Bureau’s Disclosure Application Form seems to be a fairly typical form. It’s one of those forms where the onus is on the you to fill it in with every detail correct and if you get anything wrong then they Just Say No. There’s no advantage to them (the CRB) to say “yes”, so they may as well just say no at the slightest mistake or deviation. Better be careful then.
The wording in these forms often arouses the pedantic mathematician in me. And not always in a good way.
Field 20, Section C: “Surname at birth (if different)”. Clearly if I had a different surname at birth I am supposed to write my surname at birth in this field. What am I supposed to do if it was the same? Am I at liberty to write whatever I like in the field?
Fields 28 and 29 are the “Town/City” and “County/District” for my “Place of Birth”; “Please enter town/city names and county/district names in full as recorded on your Birth Certificate”, I am advised. Amusingly, it turns out that my Birth Certificate doesn’t record my place of birth. Nor does it record anything called a Town, City, or County.
The form is booby trapped. Section E, Addition information, asks for things like marital status, bank account details, and has one of those classic false dichotomies: “Cross ONE box only: Employed, Self Employed, Part-time Employed, Unemployed, Student, Other”. One could easily be Employed, Self Employed, Part-time Employed and a Student; that being the case, which box is one supposed to cross? This is all irrelevant however, Section E should not be filled in, as advised by “An Applicant’s Guide to Completing the CRB Application Form”. Nor should section F. Obviously. (The front of the form says “Please complete section A-H in BLOCK CAPITALS”).
Good job I’m a human and not a robot.